过年带对象见家长，这些小心机让你避免尴尬！

春节临近，不少朋友要带对象回家见家长。第一次见面，难免感到紧张、忐忑。

那么，如何避免尴尬，创造一次轻松愉快的相见呢？

情感专家苏珊·温特给你总结了6条“金科玉律”。

01

先征得家人的同意

不要总想着给爸妈制造惊喜，小心惊喜变惊吓！

一定要提前告诉家人你要带对象回家，最好可以向爸妈简单介绍一下他/她，提前发几张照片也是很有必要的。

If you're bringing a significant other home, you'll need to run it by your family and make sure they're on board.

如果你要把另一半带回家，你需要先知会家人，征得他们的同意。

"You need to have a preparatory conversation with your family," said Winter. "Tell them that you're seeing someone special and you'd like to integrate them into the holiday plans."

温特说：“你需要提前和家人谈一谈，让他们做好心理准备。告诉他们，你恋爱了，并打算带恋人回家过节。”

preparatory [prɪ'pærətɔri]：准备性的，预备的

02

提前把各位亲戚的特点告知另一半

带对象回家，少不了走亲访友。那么，提前给对象补课就很有必要啦，尤其记得要详细介绍那些比较特别的亲戚们！让他/她胸有成竹地应对“七大姑八大姨”吧。

Every family has its quirks and kooky relatives that join in on holiday celebrations. Give your partner an idea of who will be there and the protocol for their behavior, and highlight relatives that you think they'd get along with.

每个家庭的节日庆祝活动都会有几个古怪的亲戚来参加。让你的伴侣知道哪些亲戚会来，他们的言行举止大概是什么样子，并重点介绍几位你觉得能和伴侣合得来的亲戚。

"Give them a 'what's up' as to each person and tell them the conversations to avoid and the conversations they might want to enter," said Winter.

温特说：“给每个亲戚都做一个简介，告诉伴侣什么话应该说，什么话不应该说。”

03

安排好住宿问题

 

过年带对象回家，住宿是个难题。若是打算安排对象在家留宿，那么务必要提前摸清父母对此的看法，综合考虑父母的意见和习惯，再做最后的决定。

Even if you and your partner spend the night at each other's places all the time, your family's standards can be a different story, making sleeping arrangements a potentially fraught topic. Winter recommends treading carefully.

即使你和伴侣经常在对方的住所里过夜，但是在父母家里过夜则是另一回事，可能会带来一些烦恼。温特建议对这件事要小心斟酌。

"This depends on how close you are to your parents and how open-minded they are," she said. "You don't have to stay with the family. You can stay in a hotel. You're adults. If you do stay in the home, you know your parents well enough — know the ground rules and don't push it."

“这取决于你和你父母的关系有多亲近，以及他们有多开明。”她说，“你不必非得在家里过夜。你们可以住酒店。你们是成年人了。如果你真的在家过夜，你应该很了解你的父母——知道他们的底线，并且不要逾越。”

04

把伴侣不吃的东西告诉掌勺的人 

过年回家，聚餐是主要活动，若是对象有某些饮食禁忌，务必要提前告知掌勺人。对象吃得开心，父母长辈们也会感到欣慰。

The holidays center around food, so make sure your partner doesn't go hungry. If they  have allergies, are vegetarian or vegan, or have other dietary restrictions, whoever is cooking needs to know that in advance.

节日聚会都是围绕着吃展开的，所以要确保你的伴侣不会饿肚子。如果他们对某些食物过敏，是素食者，或有其他饮食禁忌，都要提前告诉做饭的人。

Winter also suggests bringing food with you that you know your partner can have to make it easier on everyone.

温特还建议你带一些伴侣能吃的食物回家，这样大家都比较省事。

05

选择好要参加的家庭活动

 

除了聚餐，过年回家，亲友相聚，团体活动也是必不可少的。尽可能组织一些竞技性较弱、轻松有趣的活动。这样既可以快速拉近双方距离，也营造了友好放松的氛围，让你的对象与家人朋友们迅速打成一片。

You probably have a good idea of what the holidays with your family are like. Set yourself and your partner up for success by choosing the parts of the celebrations that will be the least intimidating and the most enjoyable.

你很可能对自家的节日活动了如指掌。选择最没有挑战性、最有趣的庆祝活动，让你和伴侣可以成功搞定。

06

给自己和伴侣留点独处时间

见家长本就是件压力超大的事情，你可以合理安排一些独处时间，这样你们和父母双方都可以获得一定的休息。

Meeting a partner's family can be overwhelming. Introducing your partner to your family can be stressful. And spending lots of time around relatives during the holidays can be a lot to handle regardless.

见伴侣的家人可能会让你抓狂。将伴侣介绍给家人也可能让你压力重重。此外，节日期间和亲戚们一起待那么长时间也是很累心的事。

Winter recommends factoring in some time and space to breathe during your visit, even if it's just a walk around the block or a coffee run.

温特建议，在拜访家人期间，给自己和伴侣留出一些独处时间，即使只是在街区散散步或出去买咖啡也是好的。

 factor in：考虑进来

She said: "Keep in mind that your partner is having a new experience. Have your partner keep in mind that you're having a new experience. Just because it's the holidays, you don't have to spend the entirety of the time with your family."

她说：“要记住，这对你的伴侣来说是第一次。你的伴侣也要明白，这对你来说也是第一次。虽说是过节，你们也不用时时刻刻都和家人待在一起。”

希望见家长的小伙伴们一切顺利呀。

编辑：陈丹妮 唐晓敏

实习生：钱盈盈

英文来源：Insider

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